Women Love Jerks

Let’s face it, women are often drawn to bad men. I have spent a lifetime searching for someone who could be a wife and a loving mother in a stable home. Yet the more love you show, the more disrespect you get.

Women will cry over the abusive man who left them, run to your arms for comfort, let you restore them, and then leave you for another abuser. It is like a boxer retreating to the corner between rounds to be patched up, only to step right back into the fight. She uses the man with resources for stability but always goes back to the one who hurts her. She may even tell the next man you were abusive because victimhood has value when it goes unchallenged.

I know this too well. Over 24 years of relationships, I have watched women I cared about betray me for abusive men.

If you rescue a damsel in distress, care for her, provide for her, and protect her, she will often leave you for another abuser, only to become a damsel in distress again. She enjoys the rescue.

I do not drink, smoke, or use drugs. I have never been to prison. I live clean and I have always made sure the women I dated had similar values. Yet many of my exes told me horror stories about abusive, deceptive, and violent men they dated before me. And after we broke up, most went to men even worse.

Two of my exes ended up with heroin addicts. Three others, including my ex-wife, chose heavy drinkers. One dated a man already married with two kids, who also had another child with a different woman in his home country. At the same time, he had two women pregnant, one in the Bronx and another in Washington Heights.

One ex dated a car thief. I read later in the news that he took her on a joyride in a stolen car. It ended in a high-speed chase on the Long Island Expressway, a crash, and a hospital bed. He was paralyzed. She had multiple broken bones.

Another moved in with a felon on parole. Yet another fell under the control of a pimp.

People hear this and say, “You picked the wrong women,” or, “Where do you find these women?”

My answer is simple: How can anyone predict someone’s future choices? Should I have earned a Ph.D. in human behavior by the age of 19 just to date?

This is not just my experience. I have seen the same pattern in the lives of friends, family, coworkers, classmates, and neighbors. It shows up on social media, in YouTube videos, and everywhere else.

Corrections officers across the country will tell you most male inmates have children with multiple women who visit them regularly. Some even start new relationships from prison. High-profile violent criminals receive love letters from women all over the world after they are arrested.

There is even a trend where women in church prison ministries leave their husbands and children, give up alimony and shared property, and marry inmates serving long sentences or life.