A Real Woman

So many times over the years, I have heard women spit out the words “not a real man” toward any man who refuses to bend, break, and submit to their immediate wants. They use it as a weapon, a way to shame men into compliance. But if we are going to talk about what “real” is, then it is time to lay down what makes a real woman.

• A real woman is feminine, not a cheap imitation of masculinity.

• A real woman smiles, because her energy lifts her family, it does not drain it.

• A real woman keeps her family together instead of threatening to destroy it when she does not get her way.

• A real woman is grateful and thankful to her husband for what he provides, instead of treating his efforts as bare minimum requirements.

• A real woman is intelligent, not just educated, but wise enough to know how to keep a man and raise a family.

• A real woman is calming, not chaotic.

• A real woman takes responsibility for her own happiness instead of demanding a man hand-deliver it to her.

• A real woman is the pride of her family, not the shame whispered about at reunions.

• A real woman is beautiful at any age because she values self-respect over self-exposure.

• A real woman is not masculine, because competing with her man is not the same as loving him.

• A real woman turns a man’s house into a loving home instead of a place he dreads walking into.

• A real woman wipes the tears off her husband’s face and does not belittle him for showing human emotion.

• A real woman holds high standards for her own actions instead of policing everyone else’s.

• A real woman is her man’s support, not his burden.

• A real woman does not get divorced as a shortcut to “finding herself.”

• A real woman does not have a body count over one, because she understands her value is not in being passed around.

• A real woman does not cheat on her husband, period.

• A real woman does not plot against her husband like he is the enemy.

• A real woman does not yell, scream, or hit when she is angry, because self-control is not optional.

• A real woman is the source of her man’s peace and comfort, not the reason he hides in the garage to avoid her.

• A real woman does not throw temper tantrums like a child.

• A real woman does not fake ailments for attention.

• A real woman does not crave attention, because she knows her worth without needing a crowd.

• A real woman does not threaten to tear apart her own family to win an argument.

• A real woman does not turn her children against their father for revenge.

• A real woman does not manipulate, shame, or test the people she claims to love.

• A real woman does not crave status symbols like overpriced clothes or jewelry to feel important.

• A real woman does not blame others for her own poor choices.

• A real woman does not whine or complain her way through life.

• A real woman does not need makeup to be beautiful, because beauty is built on character.

• A real woman does not cover herself in tattoos to appear edgy.

• A real woman does not carve herself up with surgeries to impress strangers.

• A real woman does not drink, smoke, or take drugs to escape reality.

• A real woman does not beg for validation from anyone outside her home.

• A real woman does not need a degree to prove her worth, because her value is not tied to a title.

• A real woman does not weaponize her status against her husband.

• A real woman is not jealous or insecure, because she is confident in the role she has built.

• A real woman does not measure her husband’s love in gifts or money, but in the loyalty, sacrifice, and dedication she gives him in return.

When was the last time you saw one? For most men today, the answer is simple, never.