When I meet a girl, I will sometimes tell them, "I promised myself that if I met a girl that looks as good as you do, I would buy that girl a diamond ring." Then I would walk away.
Sometimes I tell them, "If I met 5 more girls like you, I would marry them all the very next day."
Some days I will ask a girl I met, "I always attract the craziest women, so if you are attracted to me, I do not want your number."
Most of the time when I'm the third wheel between my friend and his wife, I tell the waitress, "I wanted to bring my girlfriend but my wife would get pissed at me."
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