A female friend of mine, that I’ve known for 21 years, called me out of the blue to have coffee and catch up. We hadn’t seen each other since the pandemic. At the time, I was 60 years old, she was 63, and her husband was 72. We had worked together in various capacities over the years. I met her husband a few times, I even bumped into her and her husband while in the Hamptons one summer. Her husband owned a shipping company. We got along great. No problems at all.
Her and I used to spend time on the phone together talking about things we saw on the news or movies, etc. I was comfortable with her because she had been with her husband since she was 16.
We met in a bagel deli in Manhattan. We hugged and exchange pleasantries. She asked how my family was and I asked how her husband, kids and grandkids were. She commented that everybody was fine.
We talked for about a half an hour until she asked the question, "Why are you still single"
I thought she knew. I knew I told her the story, but I stated anyway, "I’m not going through that again. Women hate men. "
She said one of the phrases that most women say, "You just picked the wrong women "
I responded with, "I picked the wrong women. My neighbors picked the wrong women. People in my family picked the wrong women. My friends picked the wrong women. My classmates picked the wrong women. My coworkers picked the wrong women. It seems that everybody is picking the wrong women, but the women are not wrong for their actions. Besides, I do not have enough money, knowledge, energy, patience, or time to make a woman happy. "
She snickered with, "Don’t be silly. You need to open your mind. I heard you’re doing well for yourself. It’s not hard to make a woman happy."
I snapped sharply with, "I will not provide for and protect yet another woman who has backstabbed all of her previous boyfriends and lovers only to be backstabbed once again for providing it protecting. "
With a smile on her face, she said, "I'm sure you will find someone that you will fall in love with. It's just a matter of time."
I was starting to get angry so my delivery to her was harsh. I said, "I have loved many women in the past only to be backstabbed over and over again. I want to give a woman a chance to pick me, because I’m the right one. I want to give a woman a chance to love me. I want a woman to reach deep in her pockets and buy me a car, a watch and dinner or two. What woman, that I do not know now, that has zero track record of any loyalty or respect, should I devote my life to protect and devote my life’s earnings towards? All I’m offered now are positions of servitude to be mom’s or grandma’s boyfriend. I will not provide and protect another man's wife or another child's mom."
She tried to play down my tone by saying, "That’s just dumb. You are just being paranoid. Not all women are out to get you. You need a loving woman beside you. "
I was wondering why she was giving me the hard sell. So I told her, bluntly, "let’s get off the subject. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. If we talk about this anymore, I will leave. I don’t want to offend you, but if you continue on this subject, I will have no choice but to leave. "
I think she got the message, and we talked about something else for about 10 minutes then she looked at her watch and said she had to go home. I walked her to her apartment building and left her with the doorman. A final hug and a kiss on the cheek, and I apologize for my gruffness.
Three weeks later, she calls me on the phone crying that her husband is in the hospital and he might not make it. I tried to console her and asked her a few questions. She told me that he had pancreatic cancer and he may not have long to live, she also told me that he was admitted to the hospital about a month ago.
In case you missed it, this is the timeline. Her husband was admitted to the hospital then three weeks later she met me, telling me that everybody in her family was OK. Then she tried to sell me on getting a female companion. One week later this call.
The call went on for a few more minutes, and she never realized what she told me.
That was a few months ago. I’m sure her husband has passed, but she has never called me about it since. While her husband was in the hospital, she was hunting for her new provider. Maybe she’s with him now.
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