My Life as a Phone Psychic #5

At first, I laughed at my friend when he suggested I should work as a phone psychic. That laughter died quickly when I realized more than ninety percent of my callers were painfully predictable.

1. They were almost always women or gay men,

2. They lived off one man, a husband or boyfriend, pretending to like him while convincing themselves they were not wrong for doing it,

3. They almost always had a second, third, or even fourth man in their sights who they wished to live off instead,

4. They always asked, "Does he love me?", "Will he commit to me?" or "When will he commit to me or love me?",

5. They almost always decided you were a great psychic if you encouraged them to leave the man they were with for the man they wanted,

Wash, rinse, repeat.